by Ms. Rachel Driver, LUSH Manager
Feeling a bit STABBY? PLAY with KNIVES and CHAMPAGNE!
Get the bottle open. Swords are highly recommended. But, a sharp knife, utility tool, or exacto knife will due. Let the bottle bubble forth. Sexy sexy. Sparkle sparkle…
For fun. For aggression. For cabin fever. For the love of knives and bubbly. LUSH suggests expending these energies toward sabering a Champagne bottle. Cue your theme music, please…
*Uncork your BUBBLY with style and grace: Grab an extra chilly bottle of Champagne and remove the foil and the wire cage while keeping a hand, and eye, on the cork. (FYI, a chilly bottle is a safe bottle…avoid premature cork release, leakage, or excessive foaming.)
*Take aim: Locate the vertical seam running alongside the bottle. Where the seam meets the lower lip of the bottleneck is the point which you shall target. Hi-ya!
*Saber with precise control: Firmly grip the bottle at the base. Aim the bottle at a 45 degree angle away from children and other people, glass and, obviously, other bottles of Champagne. Now, take your super saber sword and lay the blade flat, just below the lip at the weak spot directly on the seam.
*Da da dummmm: Draw the knife, sword, or all purpose utility tool along the seam and then push with pomp, circumstance, and full force away from your body, upward and simultaneously into the bottom of the lip. Pay attention to your flashy follow through, more flare is better. To minimize oh so disastrous spillage, immediately twist the bottle upright. (*Due to the extreme amount of internal pressure in a bottle of Champagne, glass shards in your drink are impossible…so drink up and clean up the glass from the floor).
*YAY!: If executed properly, the cork and a portion of the bottle top will fly forth in glory, several feet into the air, and you will lose no more than an ounce of your champagne…And you will be my hero.
Knives are fun and so is Champagne…
(UrbanDaddy, you rock! Thanks for reminding us lushes how fun sabering can be. We highly recommend playing with your wine. Also, you may want to practice this technique on inexpensive, but delicious, bottles of sparkling wine before hitting up the big guns!)